Writting your hearts out...

Have you ever felt so broken, you speak like a fool?
Or so loved, that you speak the words of a poet?

Well, I am one of those so emotional, the one that can actually be read like an open book.
Frown translates to anger, Smile translates to happiness, Tears translates to sad.

It's embarrasing and annoying.
So the tricks? Write my hearts out, obviously.
by translating each and every emotions on a piece of paper (some find that computer is better), you spare yourself the embarassment of sudden tantrum, or the embarassment of choking tears.
Better yet, write with colors.. Red for anger, Purple for lust, Bright yellow for happiness, depressing blue for sadness.

What if it didn't work?? Scream your hearts out..(but then it'll be just the same as a tantrum right???)

Find my writting quite nonsense?? well, I feel so messed up, that's why.

My recent Obsessions.

I recently got obsess with watching TV(gaya2 org teda kerja..)- And I'm so committed on watching Akademi Fantasia 7 every Saturday night at 9pm. To begin with, Akademi Fantasia is a competition to search for a perfect performers(Or so one of the lecturer said).
Before this, I have this Idea that singing-based reality shows are mere craps- you only needs A Good Look and attractive personality to win it, and no talent needed- cause the audience SMS is the verdict. The Audience, most of whom know nothing about singing, will decide whether or not they stay in the competition-via SMS.
However, on the previous season of Akademi Fantasia, I was so impressed by one particular Student. She is not particularly the most physically beautiful participants. But, the student by the name Stacy, Really pack a punch in each and every one of her performance... Her renditions of No doubt's Don't Speak and Mulan Jameela's Makhluk Tuhan Paling Sexy* was the most memorable, I think. That being said, all her performance was strong and memorable, too.
With the memory of the previous season, I make it a point to watch Akademi Fantasia 7 religiously. But last night, what happen is quite surprising. Rubisa and Zizi was eliminated from the show.
Last night(Sat, Apr4th), Zizi stole the show when she ride a motorcycle on the stage. All dressed up ala Rocker/biker chick, she pack a punch singing Amy search Songs- She got the perfect voice to sing the song, and a right get up to match.
Rubisa, being one of the young mother in the competitions, Also steal the light with a ballad number, Tiada Lagi...
Judging from the critics, Their performance was a Job well done- minimal mistake, powerful vocal.
If some people think their performance was bad, some other students do worse performance from them(some even got the same harsh criticism week to week). How come they're not eliminated?
Well, as the Akademi Fantasia Host said last night, The Audience Vote determines all.. Some might say that these post of mine are merely a words of bias, since Both students that were eliminated are from Sabah(I myself are Sabahan). But no, This is merely my opinion that came from my observation. And furthermore, i'm not rooting for any students.
So, After this rather unfair elimination, am I going to stop my Saturday night 9o'clock routine?
well, I think I'm still anticipating for next week edition. Furthermore, that's the rule of Reality Show right?? Expect the unexpected

Lessons From Others

Recently I got my Driving licence(finally..)-Yeah!!!
So now i basically do nothing now....except duduk melanguk depan TV.
If i want to pursue study, the session will only starts in June/July. Part time Job? I suck when it comes to taking direction from other people.

So, in the emptiness of my life these days, i reminisce my school life.
in so many ways, school is plain hateable- what's with all the school regulations, the homework and all. But now that I'm no longer a student, it's kinda funny to think about how school life was. I mean, on what level of life you can claim to be worried about the piling homework and Assignment, but still have time to chat and hang out with your friends?

Then, in the spirit of reminiscent(cheh..), I remember the person that i admire most.
This person was my senior, but left to pursue study in X college on the 22ndSeptember2007- a few months before the STPM exam... First, it sounds stupid(konon la). I mean, leaving for diploma a few months before your STPM exam? common la Bro... You have been studying for your STPM for about one++ year ma...
But the following year, when all his ex-classmate(who happen to take STPM, unlike him) take their STPM results.. WHAM!!! their made it..With Striking colors-Their result was marked with the redness of failure.That's when his choice to abandon STPM for diploma sounds clever.
It then came to me- He made his choice quite late. He could choose to go to college right after his SPM,instead of leaving to college after a year studying for STPM(and then abandoning it).
But, its also one of the fact that made me respect him. He dare to make a choice, which brings quite a drastic change to his life.
On the same year that my senior leaves to further Studies in That Particular college, I also try out for the same college(at that time, i was already a few months in Form six).. I was accepted for January 2008 sessions, but i declined.
The main reason why i declined the offer is the fact that i was too scared with the prospect of living alone in a foreign place(what a Stupid reasons, i know). Besides that, i was too overwhelm with my ridiculous thought- i was so convinced that the only reason I am interested with that particular college is the fact that my senior and my friends(my ex-classmates during my SPM year)was also studying in the same college. With that, i continue studying for STPM...
This year, when I got my STPM results, I kinda regrets not accepting the college offer(sobs..)
So, taking the lessons from Mr. senior-who-left-STPM-for-College, I conclude my long crap(excuse of a story).
1. There's nothing wrong with making your on mistake, but you don't live long enough to make your own.. So learn from not only your mistakes, but from others as well(in this case, my senior mistakes.)
2. Dare to make decisions. Sometimes, when we're making decisions, we will be confronted with other peoples opinions. Some may object our decisions, whereas some may try to influence us to change our decisions; all the while using 'Love" and "Care" to camouflage their true intent. Don't fall, Just stick to your decisions, cause for better or worse, you'll be the only one taking the consequences of your decisions.
3. Don't write a super-long post, cause in the end, your eyes will be tired and puffy(for staring too long at the computer screen).
4. Still reading eh?? habis dah....