Ringin in the new year.

It's that time of the year again!!!!!
What time???

DECEMBER!!!
It's been december quite a while actually.. in fact it's almost January!!

on december 4th, i had a wonderful birthday party.. attended by a small but wonderful crowd, too.
thx to my Event Planner team, which consist of my Cousin Clarice, my two sister, we managed to pull off the party very well, turning my idea of Red/Black atmosphere into reality.

enuff bout my b'day.

this year, I officially join the big Two-O club... Along my way towards becoming 20, i have face many problem, which sometimes make me think about giving up on life. Also, i've done so many things ( for the most part, it's not something that i'm proud of!!).

so, in the spirit of New year( almost new year, actually), i really hope that everything would be better next year.... Better health, better wealth - in general, better me. Also, i really hope that i would be able to embrace everything that i am, and everything that i'm not(????).
so, evrybody!!!! Lets say it together...

"Bring on 2010!!!!!"

( kenen la)

The Good/ the bad.

What's it like to feel so superior when you have everything under your control?

And how does it feels when everything doesn't go well, because you, well, suck at things?

when i woke up in the morning, i usually complained about my pimples - Its like an On going developmental project. they keep coming, and never disappear.
But, as I fix myself a lunch, i usually do it proudly - Cause i make a pretty decent meal( i'd rate it 5/5!).
Yes it's true. When I complained, i complained as if everything was hell. But that doesn't make me hates myself, cause i always find something to like about myself( even if other might not like it.. But, hell, who care.). In fact, i believe that everyone is born with an equal proportion of good and bad quality.
while you're cheering for your super talented and gifted self, you usually find your bad quality. And while you're grieving over your good- for - nothing self, it's super possible that you'll discover your hidden talent.

So, in the spirit of accepting the good and bad quality in me( cheh..) and to celebrate the day i update my blog after a long while ( kenen la), it just seems befitting for me to make a list of things that i'm good at.. and also the thing that i'm not really good at.

the Good.
1. i can cook like a real chef, and i am not even a qualified cooks. Just imagine if i got myself in a cooking course.. I might improve even more.
2. i can type real fast.
3. i can sleep for a mere 4 hours, and still look fresh, like a wide eyed bambi.
4. i have a legs that goes on forever. ( Or so i think.. Anyone agree with me??)

the Bad
1. i hate brushing my teeth in the morning. So I only brush my teeth in the morning if i was going out, or if i know i was going to make a close contact with a human being.(But i never missed brushing my teeth in the night,)
2. i snore like a pig. It's shocking, but it couldn't be more true.
3. i have flabby stomach. everytime i stare at it in the mirror, it's as if they were saying "we're here to stay...."
4. i have assymetrical eyes. And i like the left one better.

Writting your hearts out...

Have you ever felt so broken, you speak like a fool?
Or so loved, that you speak the words of a poet?

Well, I am one of those so emotional, the one that can actually be read like an open book.
Frown translates to anger, Smile translates to happiness, Tears translates to sad.

It's embarrasing and annoying.
So the tricks? Write my hearts out, obviously.
by translating each and every emotions on a piece of paper (some find that computer is better), you spare yourself the embarassment of sudden tantrum, or the embarassment of choking tears.
Better yet, write with colors.. Red for anger, Purple for lust, Bright yellow for happiness, depressing blue for sadness.

What if it didn't work?? Scream your hearts out..(but then it'll be just the same as a tantrum right???)

Find my writting quite nonsense?? well, I feel so messed up, that's why.

My recent Obsessions.

I recently got obsess with watching TV(gaya2 org teda kerja..)- And I'm so committed on watching Akademi Fantasia 7 every Saturday night at 9pm. To begin with, Akademi Fantasia is a competition to search for a perfect performers(Or so one of the lecturer said).
Before this, I have this Idea that singing-based reality shows are mere craps- you only needs A Good Look and attractive personality to win it, and no talent needed- cause the audience SMS is the verdict. The Audience, most of whom know nothing about singing, will decide whether or not they stay in the competition-via SMS.
However, on the previous season of Akademi Fantasia, I was so impressed by one particular Student. She is not particularly the most physically beautiful participants. But, the student by the name Stacy, Really pack a punch in each and every one of her performance... Her renditions of No doubt's Don't Speak and Mulan Jameela's Makhluk Tuhan Paling Sexy* was the most memorable, I think. That being said, all her performance was strong and memorable, too.
With the memory of the previous season, I make it a point to watch Akademi Fantasia 7 religiously. But last night, what happen is quite surprising. Rubisa and Zizi was eliminated from the show.
Last night(Sat, Apr4th), Zizi stole the show when she ride a motorcycle on the stage. All dressed up ala Rocker/biker chick, she pack a punch singing Amy search Songs- She got the perfect voice to sing the song, and a right get up to match.
Rubisa, being one of the young mother in the competitions, Also steal the light with a ballad number, Tiada Lagi...
Judging from the critics, Their performance was a Job well done- minimal mistake, powerful vocal.
If some people think their performance was bad, some other students do worse performance from them(some even got the same harsh criticism week to week). How come they're not eliminated?
Well, as the Akademi Fantasia Host said last night, The Audience Vote determines all.. Some might say that these post of mine are merely a words of bias, since Both students that were eliminated are from Sabah(I myself are Sabahan). But no, This is merely my opinion that came from my observation. And furthermore, i'm not rooting for any students.
So, After this rather unfair elimination, am I going to stop my Saturday night 9o'clock routine?
well, I think I'm still anticipating for next week edition. Furthermore, that's the rule of Reality Show right?? Expect the unexpected

Lessons From Others

Recently I got my Driving licence(finally..)-Yeah!!!
So now i basically do nothing now....except duduk melanguk depan TV.
If i want to pursue study, the session will only starts in June/July. Part time Job? I suck when it comes to taking direction from other people.

So, in the emptiness of my life these days, i reminisce my school life.
in so many ways, school is plain hateable- what's with all the school regulations, the homework and all. But now that I'm no longer a student, it's kinda funny to think about how school life was. I mean, on what level of life you can claim to be worried about the piling homework and Assignment, but still have time to chat and hang out with your friends?

Then, in the spirit of reminiscent(cheh..), I remember the person that i admire most.
This person was my senior, but left to pursue study in X college on the 22ndSeptember2007- a few months before the STPM exam... First, it sounds stupid(konon la). I mean, leaving for diploma a few months before your STPM exam? common la Bro... You have been studying for your STPM for about one++ year ma...
But the following year, when all his ex-classmate(who happen to take STPM, unlike him) take their STPM results.. WHAM!!! their made it..With Striking colors-Their result was marked with the redness of failure.That's when his choice to abandon STPM for diploma sounds clever.
It then came to me- He made his choice quite late. He could choose to go to college right after his SPM,instead of leaving to college after a year studying for STPM(and then abandoning it).
But, its also one of the fact that made me respect him. He dare to make a choice, which brings quite a drastic change to his life.
On the same year that my senior leaves to further Studies in That Particular college, I also try out for the same college(at that time, i was already a few months in Form six).. I was accepted for January 2008 sessions, but i declined.
The main reason why i declined the offer is the fact that i was too scared with the prospect of living alone in a foreign place(what a Stupid reasons, i know). Besides that, i was too overwhelm with my ridiculous thought- i was so convinced that the only reason I am interested with that particular college is the fact that my senior and my friends(my ex-classmates during my SPM year)was also studying in the same college. With that, i continue studying for STPM...
This year, when I got my STPM results, I kinda regrets not accepting the college offer(sobs..)
So, taking the lessons from Mr. senior-who-left-STPM-for-College, I conclude my long crap(excuse of a story).
1. There's nothing wrong with making your on mistake, but you don't live long enough to make your own.. So learn from not only your mistakes, but from others as well(in this case, my senior mistakes.)
2. Dare to make decisions. Sometimes, when we're making decisions, we will be confronted with other peoples opinions. Some may object our decisions, whereas some may try to influence us to change our decisions; all the while using 'Love" and "Care" to camouflage their true intent. Don't fall, Just stick to your decisions, cause for better or worse, you'll be the only one taking the consequences of your decisions.
3. Don't write a super-long post, cause in the end, your eyes will be tired and puffy(for staring too long at the computer screen).
4. Still reading eh?? habis dah....

Wonderfully troubled!!

The STPm Result Just came out on march10th.... Of which i didn't got the flying color i wish i had. To add up to the 'worst' factor, My printer/scanner was also damaged, which end up with me not being able to scan/print anything until now..

Then on march25th(just recently!!), i re-take my Driving Test...And here's the 'Wonderful' part.

i actualy pass my test, and now i got a driving licence!! Most importantly-RL!!!!

To RL, U got a wonderful smile- U actually add up to the 'wonderful' factor in my life. My day could've been worst, i could be whinning right now-but thx for being my friends!!!

I think i could be strong as u are..

HumanForSale.com

HumanForSale.com - Wrinkle Treatment

Avril's Too much to ask

This is one of my fave song!!! And right now i'm trying to play it with guitar!!

Lyrics

When nothing goes the way you Plan it..

Last month was kinda Crazy for me…

How is that??

For instant, my daddy's isn't buying a new car as planned (which I really hope he did), Putih(hamster ako..) was bitten by Paris H(my Gorgeous Blue Eyed cat). After the incident, Putih can't move his hind legs and he never seems to recover until now.

But what is the total bummer?? I failed my exam for driving license. The reason of my failure is that I can't park a car properly…Gosh, how I wish I didn't failed that test, especially for such stupid reason.

Nehow, I'm gonna try for it again this month…And God, I really hope that I'll pass the test with Flying colour this time…

Amen..

Catch That Cheater!!!

How to tell if your partner is Cheating on you??
To tell if a person is lying or not is one tricky business, sometimes way to tricky, but crucial too, cause nobody wants to be victim to lies.. Well, nobody except those who is stupid enough to love being cheated.
With this inspiration/realization, I bring this topic to my friend while we're on YM one day..

After some non-vocal-but-equally annoying debate, we come to some few tips on how to pin point a cheater.. And for the fact that the list is ridiculously long, i summarized them as follow;

1. A lying partner is bad with eye contact!!
   -so how to work this tips? make sure you got a good eye contact and wear clothes that fully cover your assets, then ask your partner a questions(e.g;their whereabout the previous night, etc). He stares at your boobs? You're fully covered so he's not stimulated, he merely avoiding eye contact.
   
2. A lying partner will most likely be superbly nice to you.. - well, it's sure is nice when your spouse suddenly gives a mindblowing 'Job', or when your boyfriend buy you a brand new 'Best Friend' from Cartier. But before you return the favour, do realize that it could all just be a 'Camouflage' to hide their misbehaviour- and it works on you, right?
3. Your partner don't let you hang out with some people from their social group. - Your girlfriends don't want you to hang out with her friends- not neccesarily her BFF. Why? She wants to avoid the worst case scenario, i.e when her buddy laugh frantically, and accidently blurt out some internal 'affairs' to the public and you're there to for the hearing.
   
4. Your partner change Drastically/dramatically/suddenly! - You've been together for like 2 years, and throughout ur relationship, both of you constantly change... But what about his ridiculos haircut? And why is she suddenly looks like a cross between Britney/Anne hathaway/ jessica Alba??You might think it's rubbish, but the new neighbour seems to adore it..
   
5. Your partner start Promoting themself as 'available'.. - That facebook photo of you and your partner cuddling together are now replaced.. in comes the picture of your partner in his/her best pose - alone. Seems harmless? well, he merely spot a profile of an angelinaJolie-esque girl..

And that was the summary of the afternoon dicussions.. However, just because your partner fit one of the above list, don't be too fast to accuse, it merely means that you need to watch your partner closer. They couldn't stare you in the eyes when they talk? maybe you got the eyes of a seducer, your partner couldn't stand it's power.

ps;//
This list is made by a me,a 20yo teen after a discussion with some friends.. So don't be too fast to follow.

The nice surprise.

Yesterday morning, I woke up and do my usual boring routines. Then, when I was about to fed my hamster, I saw two tiny, moving, pinkish things inside the cage.. As i look closer, I realize that it was a baby hamster... So i woke everyone in the house. Then, it turns out that there are actually 9 baby hamster in the nest.
at first,'twas kinda scary, to see pinkish moving things rolling around, but now I found them to be quite cute. But I'm not getting any closer to the new born and their mom for now, cause I heard that momma hamster would eat her pups if she felt threathen, or if anyone touch the baby. So i simply left her inside her cage with her dirty wood shaving nest.
For all my exitement with the news, I actually quite clueless about the whole situations..To begin with, I don't know what to fed her cause she wouldn't eat the seeds that i usually fed her. And, I really don't know whether or not I should change her dirty beds...

Sun Set view.

This picture suppose to capture the setting sun from my house in Ranau..But I'm not sure if it really depict what it should depict.. Oh, btw, You should be able to see the Kinabalu mountain from afar in this image.It is one of the highest mountain in Asia.

When i took this picture, it was orange bright in the west, while the skies are clear. Earlier on that day, it was bright and....Well, I'm not quite sure what I was doing earlier on. But as soon as I saw the beautiful orange flash in the horizon, I eagerly grab my Dad's camera phone, and try to capture the last sun of that day.

Since I use low quality camera phone(which is the only camera around me at that time), the image are blurry. Hopefully someday, I can get my hand on the superb Sony SLR. But more importantly, hopefully someday, I can improve my skills.

This is the picture that i draw using microsoft paint..of course, it is extremely awful.. But i kinda got hooked strongly with this thing.
If I keep doing this, I think I can really nail this by next year.. And who know, I might end up doing this as a job in the future.
So what about this picture? It suppose to depict a cold winter night. But it's not that dark cause the moon does shine.
But seriously, this dawing's sucks, so no harsh criticism needed.

Picturesque Ranau

This is one of the picture that i took in my hometown, Ranau..

I always wanna leave this place. Whenever I was chatting on YM with my friends from another country and we talk about our life, it was as if we were on a different page. They talk about their Urban lifestyle and and I would talk about my life in here...

And, understandably, it gives me the feeling that I want to leave this place.

It gives me the feeling that this place is not where I belong, and that I should be in a place that never sleeps.

But then, this is the kind of picture that would remind me of all the good times that I had when I was little.

The laughter that I had before I realize that There are many place in this world I could explore, the times when a little seems enough, the times of innocence.

I will leave this place someday and explore some greener pasture. But for now, I would appreciate this place, as it is.

My coffee table picture.

This is the picture that I capture most recently.... Not so good, but I kinda like the colour scheme..

The shot was taken in my cousins house.... Wonder what she(my cousin) was thinking when i took the liberty of rearranging her coffee table so I can take this picture..

Why am I so crazy about taking picture???

Well, my dad has a piling collections of readers digest books and magazine. And I remember well, what attracted me to the books was the beautiful picture in it, not the article that was in it ( I only started reading when I was 5 years young..). These days, with my sisters buying a lot of magazine such as Cosmopolitan, CLEO and herWORLD, it gives me better idea on taking goodshot. However, as for now, all the shots that I've take are only used for my blogs and on my computer..

But someday, i do wish that it would be appreciated by a wider comunity.

-Just another crappy blogs.

DeLiRiOus' Go Green Tips..

It's been a long time since I last post....But thats not the point here. I have read an article lately, which is about the trouble we caused to our mother earth...And eventually, us.

What the heck?, you might ask. Yes, you heard me right,we're causing damage to our mother earth. We might not cut down the trees in Amazon, and yes, you didn't steall enough charcoal from your art class to spread it on the air and cause air pollution.. But then again, we don't need to do all that to cause damage to mother earth.

As we sit in front of our television while the computer's running(you're downloading porn from slutload..hehehe),the damage's already done. And, oh. You're eating vegetable imported from oversea. Eating the veggies is healthy, but the journey that the veggies took all the way from oversea to your plate?? The plane fuel has added up the your carbon footprint.

We didn't need to do much to destroy our one and only earth. But then again, it doesn't need much effort to reduce the damage done to her..



So, lets Go Green( not with envy..)

1. Instead of driving your shiny car to get to work or school( or wherever is it you wanna go), try taking the tube or cycling. Too crowded? try sharing cars with your buddy.
2. Replace a regular incandescent light bulb with a compact fluorescent light bulb (CFL).CFLs use 60% less energy than a regular bulb. This simple switch will save about 300 pounds of carbon dioxide a year.
3. Do not leave appliances on standbyUse the “on/off” function on the machine itself. A TV set that’s switched on for 3 hours a day (the average time Europeans spend watching TV) and in standby mode during the remaining 21 hours uses about 40% of its energy in standby mode.
4. Cover your pots while cooking.Doing so can save a lot of the energy needed for preparing the dish. Even better are pressure cookers and steamers: they can save around 70%!!! now talk about energy saving...
5. Use the washing machine or dishwasher only when they are full.If you need to use it when it is half full, then use the half-load or economy setting. There is also no need to set the temperatures high. Nowadays detergents are so efficient that they get your clothes and dishes clean at low temperatures.
6. Take a shower instead of a bath.A shower takes up to four times less energy than a bath. To maximize the energy saving, avoid power showers and use low-flow showerheads, which are cheap and provide the same comfort. Use less hot water
7. Reduce the waste that we produce.Most products available in the market can cause greenhouse gas emissions in one way or another, e.g. during production and distribution. By taking your lunch in a reusable lunch box instead of a disposable one, you save the energy needed to produce new lunch boxes.
8. Buy locally grown and produced foods.The average meal in the United States travels 1,200 miles from the farm to your plate. Buying locally will save fuel and keep money in your community.
9. Buy organic foods as much as possible.Organic soils capture and store carbon dioxide at much higher levels than soils from conventional farms. If we grew all of our corn and soybeans organically, we’d remove 580 billion pounds of carbon dioxide from the atmosphere!
10. Plant a tree.A single tree will absorb one ton of carbon dioxide over its lifetime. Shade provided by trees can also reduce your air conditioning bill by 10 to 15%. The Arbor Day Foundation has information on planting and provides trees you can plant with membership.
11. Keep your car tuned up.Regular maintenance helps improve fuel efficiency and reduces emissions. When just 1% of car owners properly maintain their cars, nearly a billion pounds of carbon dioxide are kept out of the atmosphere.
12. Use a clothesline instead of a dryer whenever possibleYou can save 700 pounds of carbon dioxide when you air dry your clothes for 6 months out of the year.

See?? saving our mother earth and stop global warming is quite easy.. and mostly low cost. So, why don't we try it??

Life and Everythings About It

Have you ever felt Everyone around you reject you for who you are?
Have you ever felt trapt in yourself cause no one would accept the real you?
In our super short life, we're most likely to experience these kind of things.. When the people around us keep telling us who we should be and how we should behave..
I've been in a more silly,annoying situation. When almost everyone I know ignored me because I don't behave the way they expect me to behave.As much as it hurts, and as much as I felt suicidal..I didn't do anything stupid(cause if I did, I surely won't be posting this crappy blog today..).
With all the bad things happen to me, I felt like I did't belong in this world, my future and my fate seems vague..And at times, I kind of loosing my grip on my faith.
I stop talking cause no ones listening, I stop smiling to the public cause They didn't see me..To put it simply, I let other people behaviour towards me determine my behaviour, I let others rejection of me block my true self.
But then, I come to realize.They ain't gonna hear, so why I should put myself in silence mode?
It's not like they gonna see me, so why I should dismiss my smile??
They didn't see me..But that's not the reason for me to shut myself down.

These day, I'm still not the most outspoken people around, and I'm not actually the kind of person with a demanding presence. But, there's one thing that my 19 years-young life have taught me.. That is,don't ever let other's attitude towards you get in your way of being yourself..And don't Let anyone tells you how you live your life,or tell what you should be.

-Just Another Crappy Blog from DeLiriOusKifLey-